Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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