Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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