During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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