you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
