I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
