I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
im holly from the hills drunk
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
this hospital has no fireball
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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