Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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