rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
