Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
