she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh god it's open bar.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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