i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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