Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
