You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
