we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
