her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
