She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
