I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
