About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
