I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think people are normalizing furries
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
