It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
