I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You've changed since you got that strap on
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
