i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
