I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
