I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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