sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize