Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
