Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
