Im at strip club and am horny
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
