just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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