Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
