I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
