she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
