Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
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