I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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