are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is wine microwaveable?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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