Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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