he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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