And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
