So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There r osticjed everywhere
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
