Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
