the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
