Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This is not my ceiling
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
