I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
