I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
