Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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