im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
