never play flip cup with pint glasses
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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