Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
