It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
