You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
