This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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