my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
