But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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