the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
