When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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