is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So here I am, sexting at work.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
