im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
