what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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