Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
