Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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