You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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