i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
