i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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