I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
