The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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