Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
