I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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